Pink Hollyhocks..

The Hollyhocks in pink lining my driveway... but the sandstorm yesterday almost flatten them but luckily the stem is not broken but they are slant a little bit.. it takes quite a few weeks since the 2nd. photo on Feb.17th. for it to bloom since they were planted.. I wish I could have gotten the other colors but you never know from the small plants. Thought i might get more to plan next winter... There's a beautiful rows of hollyhocks by Rolling Hill Blvd..will get a photo later..

Pacermaker #1 Bye..Bye...

On Wed. 3/21 Zayd was scheduled to have his 12 year old pacer removed. We were really.. really.. not sure about it coz' everything is new..but Dr.Shah seems very confident..he didn't push us to decide rather sort of tell us all the cons for delaying having the removal done. Well..it is almost 5 years now since Zayd has 2 pacer in his body although the first one has since discharge all it's energy. So only the 2nd. one installed in IJN by Dr.Hasri is functioning..it's a St. Jude's 2 limits max and min level. The 1st. by Tectonics is a single level setting. This is not a technical explainations.. At birth Zayd was diagnosed with a complete heartblock and just a few days after his 1st. birthday he had complications that requires the assistance of pacer on his heart for him to get going. Alhamdulilah with the pacer he is okey..tq for this chance ya..Allah

Since, the 1st pacer is no longer working, we were advised to have it removed but the time frame was not urgent but all the only if's....but than again the day was meant to be last Wed 3/21 at about 10:30 am the operation was done. we were at the hospital since 6:30am..Worse thing was Zayd had to fast from 12 midnite Tuesday till after the operation is over. This is actually the hardest part for him...who went you say, that he has to fast..his stomach starts to growl and signals for feeding...

I waited in the waiting room...Azlan went back to the office since there's no need for us to wait together in separate waiting rooms. The rule here in Saudi Arabia....male&female separate.. We put our trust in HIM and pray for the best and whatever is the outcome may we be strong to face it..The surgeon upon going in his chest found out that some adhesion occurs surrounding the pacemaker and he has to cut thru it to get to the pacer...well..to make it short..Alhamdulialh it was successful...our thanks to Allah..he is the ONE..the Decider... Totally it is about 2 hrs plus b$ I saw Zayd again...actually..I was doing Zohor when the nurse was calling for me, quickly i completed my solat and rush in..but got to get thru the auto double door first and when I saw him he was actually sobbing...I was scared..but then I think that sobbing is good..he was awake and feeling something...so I hushed him and asked why was he crying..was it pain? He said NO but it's just that he can't catch his breath or rather take in his breath..he was scared if he was dy***. So I told him that yes..we have to sometime but it's not yet...I guess the nurses and doctors around him was trying to figure out why he was crying...so I told them that he said he couldn't breath and they told me that actually everything is alright...I guess Zayd was scared as the last time when I was not there when he open his eyes..in IJN he was screaming when he came to..reason was I promised to be there when he open his eyes...this time I ask him not to cry but wait or ask for me if he came to and I was not there..but he was more scared what's going to happen to him when he feels that he couldn't inhale and exhale...Poor baby... but to me he is the brave one as he takes in the pain very bravely and going around as if it is nothing.. visitors were surprised that he is already moving around...I am always praying May Allah swt.. make it easy for him...We had the old pacemaker to take home as a souvenir?? Reminder that anything is possible only if Allah wills..

Decorative Painting ~ My First Project..

Finally..today I was braved enough to do the painting on an actual product. Before this I was practising on paper.. and the strokes were never good enough....I was impatient to wait until July so that I can go to one of Aniza's classes...So, as I was trying not to shake so much and let my hand tries to get the forms just right..I finally finished this file box. It's free hand drawing bcos I mess up on the pattern transfer and basecoat the surface again... The pattern is mine...the colours are muddy and maybe not the correct shade but I am still proud of what I had done..No matter that there are smudges everywhere but at least I have a completed product to look at and scrutinize it on how to improve further..I got to make more on wood surface as all the paints I have are just the acrylics for these surfaces and not the enamel type to paint on glasses or tiles...

Anyway..I learn the hard way by just following the instructions in books and looking at photos and watch a video...it can never replace a real life tutor but it's the next best thing if you can't find one near...

Well...I hope there'll be more stuffs that I can do..but I got to be patient..it's actually tiring as I have to force my hand to hold the brush a certain way and create all those strokes to make the flowers and leaves..and make a mistke in varnishing when one of the egdes started to melt..maybe I was spraying too close...but it's true..even without an artistic ability you can learn this fom of art and make something out of it....

Don't Be Sad...

A few days ago, I receive the passage below from UKS messages..it touches so many aspects of my life and feeling ashamed that I have bought the book for close to 2 years and yet haven't really past the first few pages..Yep..busy..busy... After reading the email that has part of the message on it, I have begun reading the book "Don't Be Sad " on Monday and now still on it..the beautiful words keep flowing from the pages and the messages tend to explain so many details of what my own life has been and how to contemplate and expect many issues and maybe how to resolve some.... This early in reading the book I can say that I have come to peace with many things and at the same time will try my very very best on many aspects of my life as if.....

Today is all that you have...

When you wake up in the morning, do not expect to see the evening – live as though today is all that you have. Yesterday has passed with its good and evil, while tomorrow has not yet arrived. Your life span is but one day, as if you were born in it and will die at the end of it. With this attitude, you will not be caught between an obsession over the past, with all its anxieties, and the hopes of the future, with all its uncertainty. Live for today: During this day you should pray with a wakeful heart, recite the Qur’an with understanding, and remember Allah with sincerity. In this day you should be balanced in your affairs, satisfied with your allotted portion, concerned with your appearance and health.
Organize the hours of this day, so that you make years out of minutes and months out of seconds. Seek forgiveness from your Lord, remember Him, prepare for the final parting from this world, and live today happily and at peace. Be content with your sustenance, your wife, your children, your work, your house and your station in life.

So hold that which I have given you and be of the grateful (Qur’an 7:144)

Live today free from sorrow, bother, anger, jealousy, and malice. You must engrave onto your heart one phrase: Today is my only day. If you have eaten warm, fresh bread today, then what do yesterday’s dry, rotten bread and tomorrow’s anticipated bread matter?
If you are truthful with yourself and have a firm, solid resolve, you will undoubtedly convince yourself of the following: Today is my last day to live. When you achieve this attitude, you will profit from every moment of your day, by developing your personality, expanding your abilities, and purifying your deeds. Then you say to yourself:

• Today I shall be refined in my speech and will utter neither evil speech nor obscenity. Also, I shall not backbite.
• Today I shall organize my house and office….
• Today I will strive to be obedient to my Lord, pray in the best manner possible, do more voluntary acts of righteousness, recite the Qur’an, and read beneficial books. I will plant goodness into my heart and extract from it the roots of evil – such as pride, jealousy, and hypocrisy.
• Today I will help others – to visit the sick, to attend a funeral, to guide the one who is lost, and to feed the hungry. I will stand side by side with the oppressed and the weak. I will pay respect to the scholar, be merciful to the young, and reverent to the old.

O’ past that has departed and is gone, I will not cry over you. You will not see me remembering you, not even for a moment, because you have traveled away from me never to return.
O’ future, you are in the realm of the unseen, so I will not be obsessed by your dreams. I will not be preoccupied about what is to come because tomorrow is nothing and has not yet been created.

‘Today is my only day’ is one of the most important statements in the dictionary of happiness, for those who desire to live life in its fullest splendor and brilliance.

Taken from the book, ‘Don’t be Sad’ by Aaidh ibn Abdullah al-Qarni, International Islamic Publishing House pg 31-33.

Children..How You Love Them No Matter What...

When your kids are young you worry about them learning to move, toilet training, speak...when they start going to school you worry about them not learning enough or maybe learning too much and about not making the grades....you worry that they don't have friends..do they know how to socialize..they are not interested in sports..joining school clubs..are they popular among students and teachers..are they nerds....Worry..worry..worry....it gives wrinkles to your face and make you much older than you actually are....and gives you a lot of unnecessary stress...

But than..if you don't worry..will they get the proper support to make them able to survive and compete in the current stream...will you be doing enough to make sure that they grow up to be successfull...But what measures are our standards...what are the reference points..what will be our satisfaction level..Will we be doing our "part"as a parent...

One thing I do believe..and also worry...we need to educate our selves to become parents..it is not a natural born with thing...Yes..we may be equipped with the physical parts of parenting like physically taking care of them..physically ensuring their growth and well-being but beyond that are we capable of ensuring that they grow up to be happy, balanced, know their duty to Allah swt. their religion- their parents- their family- their community, resilient to whatever may come their way, confidence, responsibility as a provider etc..etc..etc...

My husband and I become parents at the age of 20 with our eldest son Adzrul, 12 years down the road we have 2 more boys and a girl..this complete the family..but we also keep thinking should we have more..and we left it as..if it happens ok..if not we are not going to work hard for it...and now our youngest will soon be 12 and we are in our mid-40's..I guess by now it's a bit too off the child bearing years...not really b'cos of the ability but rather the physical part of taking care of them..

And now it starts again the band wagon of worries...what will Ayman need to take up in college? Our need will be something that he will be financially able with. His need somehow will be more of something he loves doing..like being an artist..he did mention illustrator..We worry again..can make money kah...can he support himself and than on his own family...One thing I know..he is sure good with his English writing...

Like Adzrul..we were very sure he wants to take up computer science...we was hoping more of medical science...than after matric he wants pulak to take up medical science but by than I was thinking alamak..it gonna be too long of a time...but now..5 years is almost done and he will be insyaállah going into his final 6th. year and into the working world...and than he says..I am not going to be a doctor for a very long time..I want to have a business like a cafe or something.. Hmm..do we need to worry again...So i say..why not find something that combines the two..health and diet food ke...make your own brand...advise and consult those who need special food diets... as we should know that many troubles come from our food...

Than come Zayd...the other day at lunch he says..Ma.. i wish I can learn the Quran and knows its meaning..? What do you say to this? I say..Amin..Amin...Amin...I told him..do whatever you want but make sure you focus and work hard...Coz'he's the one who always have some trouble with his reading comprehension and not understanding what it is..He has problems for essay type questions and word problems..but damn good with numbers addition...reciting and memorizing the Quran verses..he cannot control his temper..very fast up and very slow down.. we use to say that his voice has only and off and on button..no volume control...He feels he wants to be a chef because he feels he is not good at academics..as if it is going to be an easy field as I told him that he has to read recipes, do calculations and write his own recipes...

As for Hannah..she has become the wonder girl in our family...masyaállah..Why? she is into all sorts of sports and good in her academics...just yesterday she comes home to say..I can spell something that my teacher cannot spell...We ask again : are you sure? maybe he's just pretending...But come a time when there's minimum fuel in her..she will start to become the grumpy tigress or lioness..She hassle us if she takes a quiz or test and not sure of the results because she did not prepare for it...it stops once the result comes out..usually she will earn A's..If she gets a B..she will say that it was a tough one and nobody in the class score any higher since she either gets the highest or 2nd highest marks..i do not want her to be a snooty baby because of her achievement..so I got to learn to tone her down sometimes...

So..among all the worries..you know you try out many ways in bringing up your child..but you need to educate yourself in how to bring them up...get all the tips you can and read and join classes or seminars..listen to tapes..I strongly believe it will bring you a lot of good...and although we have to treat them all equally in their life...but no two are the same even if they came from the same father and mother...So..education is very important for all especially for mothers...

Hmm...my thoughts alone on this gloomy day....

Decorative Painting..I am trying really hard...

The first photo is from the guide book..while the other two are from my practices...Only the leaves just yet... but I am pushing on as one of the things that I want to do this year is learning how to paint.. decorative painting specifically. I am never good at art but they say decorative painting is a skill to learn rather than artistic ability...hmm..hmm..I wonder how this is so.I have serve various websites and I am amazed and awed how beautiful the paintings are...I wish if I could manage just a wee bit of it I am happy indeed. I have bought some books, plan to book a lesson with Aniza in Msia sometime this July, bought various paints and brushes...I am not too ambitious as i still have a dfficult time to hold the brush straight and get he right amount of colors on the brush. But the things that I do know by now are that..the quality of brush is important so as how you hold the brush..the movement should be fluid in moving the brush rather than forcing yourself to get the strokes just right...Anyway..I am happy to say that at least i can get the petals for the daisies right and the one stroke leaf...checking all the techniques....I am going with Donna Dewberry style first followed by Priscilla Hauser..insyaállah...the strokes for the roses has come right just yet but...it will I guess with more practise...I am targetting that by next week i should be brave enough to try and paint a design....

Today also is my "first" received duit tuition...I am trying it for Aisyah and Nadira..both kids have their strength in math already so half-way is cleared.Comparing with zayd..it is less of a hurdle with them but rather I still need to find their weakness so that I can help them in comig out of this hurdle...I need to control my tone so that I don't scare them..aisyah especially...Zayd was very sensitive whenever he couldnt figure out what a word problem wants..so I hope we can clear this hurdle again...we need to sort out the clues first and know what the problems want. but I am happy that they are good wit numbers once they know what it wants but still have to memorize formulas..If they still have me..I am sure insyaállah.. the word problems will become as simple as the number problems...in fact zayd is doing pretty well on his own now...

I need to write about Zayd's adventure in learning sometime. If he can do it..anybody can insyaállah...but then again my expectations may be different..Hannah is getting all A's although she has a tendency to slip if she is rushing her work. Zayd's result is more colorful...but the best part is that he is getting them more on his own effort nowdays..although I keep reminding him that he needs to read more in order to have better vocabulary etc..

Insyaállah..patience and doa..all will be well....

Spring Flowers...

This year the nice cool weather brings more rain than usual...we infact had several downpours here in Dhahran. But it results in all streaky cars and windows due to the sand in the air....Wonderful thing is..the plants are practically growing on their own...

This year I am not into major gardening..like making sure all the flower beds are full..this time more of spot gardening...mainly to test the soil...As you can see..thanks to the rain and fertilizer plus more frequent watering to the soil instead of spraying over with the hard water..things are looking quite green...

I have some geraniums and hollyhock planted in between the those colorful "lupa pulak namanya !! "..plants. Anyway...I have a hanging geranium bag over my door, and two pots of pink roses to be planted..in is starting to buds and yet it is still in the pots..got to do it before it gets too warm/hot...Denise from the garde shop called me this morning asking if I will be stopping by to get some more roses...last year was madness..between us we had about 20 pots of roses..the colors and the smell was sweet....but last summer was just too hot that it kills all of them...But..I am trying again this year but not as many pots...

I have started to hold the brush for the doing some decor painting..i am doing just the leaves now, and the comma, U & C stroke, S-stroke....my hand is getting real tired..will show the samples next..Insyaállah..in July planning to get some formal classes if i can squeeze the time..but for the time being..will try to get the hang of it..but i think..it's still a long way ahead..

Friendship & Obligations...

Today I was confronted with a situation that can be messy if i were to let it bugged me deeply. But than again..this is a common occurances among family, friends,collegues etc...What is the problem?Wondering why certain things happen the way it is without us being involved or kept up to date....The feeling that we may be slighted if we are not told of the happenings in somebody's life ( friend or family etc..), not invited to a party that we know somebody is having who is also our friend, not informed of a certain plans or extend an invitation to join something...not returning a call or messages within the expected stipulated time that a friend or family should...Not sure what the record standard time for this!!Somebody keeps asking if you are offended by certain things that he/she do...or predicting that we may not be happy with something that they may have done or said...Talking to someone else about all this suspicions or unhappy feelings instead of the intended person....Urghh...the list can go on and on...

Honestly..I think we should appreciate friendship or relationship just as it is...do not be overcontrolling in a way that whatever our friend or family are doing we must be included.. sometimes things happen unintentionally but even if they are done purposely, only the person who do it knows the real reason...sometimes we assume to much by how somebody is reacting.. but honestly we can be way off the mark....the best thing is to ask matter of factly...do not assume as...you will make an ass out of u and me...and you may be embarassed if you are wrong and might in turn offend the person with whom you are offended with due to mis-judgement...

Do not be judgemental over some reactions our friend or family is showing or the absence of commitments from them...Just accept the way things are....Being too frank can sometimes get you into hot soup too..so is being superly assuming on something...

Sometimes when these things happen..matter of the heart that is...you cannot help but feel a twinge of sorts..but you need to decide how to go on from that twinges...this will either make you or break you...Do not be too demanding or even obliging and too much wondering if a person does not include you in a certain things....most probably it is a simple mistake of having too much to do or to think that makes your brain works sheepishly or stupidly or even not working like the path that has been drawn up by that particular someone....

Sometimes..when these occurances happen..we tend to be secretive of something... hoping it might not hurt the feelings of someone else..but sometimes this can backfire also...

In a way...we cannot win always in these situations...you might have a lot of explaining to do but sometimes this will make the matter worse so...sometimes I choose not to explain but just let it pass....just pray that something else bigger will cross the path of whoever that make them forget about what have happen with you....

Count Your Blessings...

Sometimes we tend to overlook small minute things that happen in our life..and for all we know sometimes these things have more meanings to it than we realise...like a baby small staggering steps will lead to running and leaping as the steps are mastered... Being homemakers we will get caught up with the daily task of running the household etc..plus if we used to be career ladies before..but bear in mind that these will be my thoughts and opinion alone..it may not be right but it is something that I know...

What are these small minute things that we may let them pass if we do not try to catch it??

• The morning goodbyes and with hugs and kisses before the kids left for school. With bonuses of I love you Ma...& says..I have recite Fatehah & Qursi..
• The breakfasts that you dont have to prepare hot and the kids will just look at the empty table and proceed to the refrigerator and take out the milk and eat it with cereal..
• The high pitch scream of excitement as they get home for lunch and say..Yes!..Yes!...that they smell their favorite food..when it is just Eggs with Sweet&Sour Sauce..
• Your other half going to work with just a shout of goodbye from you and not really walking him to the door bcos you are busy brushing your teeth..
• Coming out of the bathroom and see that the bed is all made up b4 the love of your life leave for work..
• He try to indulge you but at the same time do press your buttons..like..do you think you can still fit in that dress??
• After eating..everyone brings their plates and glasses to the sink..
• They try their best to take care of their rooms...
• They try to recite the Quran ahead of class...
• Leave them at home and I call them asking if they have perform solat..and they will do it and tell on each other if they dont..he..he..
• Zayd falling more than half asleep everytime I have to make him repeat his reading of Social Studies and Science esp for tests..when he was fully awake at the computer..coming home saying ma..I pass..be it C or B it's just an overnite work..sometimes he gets an F so he will try better next time..
• Hannah is meticulous in her work..Busy baby...she wants to do 1001 things in a day and still will complete her homework b4 bedtime...
• Ayman is now very independent in his schoolwork regardless of the grades although I told him that I would love more A's sometimes..sure miss him helping out with washing the dishes...although some broke at least give me a chance to buy something new..
• Adzrul is now in his 5th. year and insyaállah will complete his final year in 2008.. he was and infact all my babies do not give much trouble at a younger age.. like waking up too much at nite..getting sick except for zayd due to his heart condition..May Allah swt bless your life for the things you bring to us..love you anakanda..
• May not have a whole lot of money like I want to but at least..no more heavy debts.. scaring off the credit cards issuer by paying and closing the account and they wanting to offer more credits and loans just over the phone..bought a new home to be ready this year..
• Send parents to hajj...we went to hajj...kids and us went for umrah a couple of times..
• Kids are actually the blessings for our life...
• 1001 other things actually...

And so..why should I get mad about when ..

• Their rooms are in a mess..and they are always in their room..
• The house is in a mess with books, jackets, cushions out of place, trumpets&thrombones..
• Socks & shoes are everywhere in the hallway..
• They are noisy...they fight sometimes..only sometimes..
• They ignore me when I nag or push them to start doing something when I say it's time to do it and not when they feel they should do it..
• They usually dont take a shower in the evening unless they have been out playing...
• They play too much game on the computer..and not stopping unless I tell them too..
• The older kids did not get in touch as often as you want them to be to know how they are.. Ayman's excuse..Everything is Okey...Adzrul has a blog so catch up there or chat via YM..
• When my other half is snoring on the sofa after a tiring day at work..he said..brain drain is more tiring than physical drain..uhuh...

You see..sometimes the things we want to be mad at is really nothing as compared to those we should be thankful to..

Just coming out of feeling blue...

Feeling Low...Feeling Blue...

Hmm..what can I say of this uneasiness..bloating..leaking feeling? I guess you might know what I am talking about..it's that time of the month!! I am having quite an unpredictable time of it lately...maybe it's the age factor now starting to factoring in...shucks..Anyway..the first time I realised that a change was coming was when after planning for so long to go for Ramadhan umrah..I had to get it cancelled the very morning we were supposed to leave. It just came with a big significant blob..as if saying..hello..it's not meant to be again this time. Luckily..the love of my life take it in his stride..went to cancel the ticket and say bcos of woman problem..the airline will keep open the ticket without charge for a year..that's the beauty of it here if we come to think of it..Back to the issue at hand..I realise I cannot predict it coming anymore and so it come back to plotting the graph..yep..ladies..we have to do this sometimes..found out that now the cycle will be about 28days plus minus 1 or 2 days and the last 2x has been quite stable so..now will be watching for the next few months bcos I am planning for the Ramadhan umrah again..Insyaállah it will happen this time with the grace of Allah swt.

Today not planning to go to the ladies halaqah as I am feeling sluggish..still haven't taken my shower yet but have made up the bed and the cushions in the living room..roam a few websites.. Sometimes I feel..if I start the day by not making the bed first b4 going downstairs it's gonna dampen my mood..it's still okey not to have the shower yet as you can brush your teeth first and clean your face and if somebody say there's a funny smell..you can blame it on the hazards of cooking...

Will tell you more about my plans later....

Rainy Tuesday 16/1/2007

Woke up this morning and saw that my back yard cemented area was wet..hmm...first thing that come to mind was..what a good gardener I have..early morning have done his job. Then , when I went out to send Zayd&Hannah to school find out it was raining..Masyaállah..rain in Saudi is gold...should cherish it..but...brrr..it is cold this morning!!

Today..I have 2 lunch invitations..still wondering which to go and which to pass...anyway...a bread pudding is already baking in the oven..looks and smell good..but still not sure of the taste. Wonder if it is okey without any sauce to drip over it? Mainly because I have used up all the milk and too lazy to drive to the mini-market to get some....still there's some time..

Yesterday..I dragged myself to go to a new Quran class for just ladies...well..there's about 7 ladies. My friend Yildiz..I consider her a friend now for the favor of introducing me to these classes and for pushing me to come..and come..for ages. Actually we met bcos our kids are sometimes in the same class...Surprisingly..I like the class and I believe I will be a regular..considering current tajweed teacher is planning to leave in May and I am still way of base..this is a good change..we read the end of surah Ibrahim..would like to share some of what Ferial the teacher tells us..as I know some mak-cik2 dan anakanda2 akan baca my blog nie...TQ very much..i will try to organize it better and share more like what I intended to do earlier.. but if there's something here that I wrote down offended anybody..do forgive me as I have not meant to do that..mainly to relay an incident and share the outcome..

Surah Ibrahim Ayat-41..This is a good doa for dunia & akhirat..

Also..in the Hereafter..at Masyar while waiting for the Mizan on our good and bad deeds to be weigh there are 7 people who will be shaded. At this place..all will be woken up dazed and naked..their eyes will only focus on the thing they will have to undergo..as quick as possible to get the judgement fast so as to be in Heaven..here the sun will be hot and very near to your head..some say it "sejengkal"not sure the English word...and our sweat will come up to our ankles or our thighs and may even drown us..that's how hot it is going to get...Anyway..there will be 7 group of people who will get shaded for what they have done in this world...

1. Imam or Leader...a person who is a just person or fair to his people.
2. A man or woman who refuses another with high ranking like Zulaikha tempted Nabi Yusof and he resist.
3. Attach to masjid..someone who has just finish his solat but yet waiting for the next one to come.
4. A boy or a girl who are raised in an Islamic way fully eg. like Osama bin Zayd.
5. Between 2 friends who develop a friendship for the sake of Allah swt. so they will never argue..fight for worldly things.
6. A man who give sadaqah without being known..like the right hand giving and the left hand don't even know about it.
7. The one who shed tears or cries for Allah swt...when you think of Allah swt, in prayers, reading Quran etc..you will cry for Allah swt..

At Mizan....your good deeds for solat,fasting,zakah,hajj etc..will make the balance heavy against your bad deeds, but the other thing that can make the balance to be much heavier towards your good deeds will be your relationship with people...relating with others with a smiling face where people will find a liking from your face and talking with easy soft words...not "soft as to hard"but rather good tone and meaning words...."Husnul Khuluq Syaiun Haien Wajhuhun Tholiq Wa Kala Mun Laien".. I hope this translation is correct as I jot it down from hearing. Also..memorizing Surah Al-Baqarah will also helps you on this...

Therefore..most importantly how to take care of our relationship with people..not to raise our voice or hurt their feeling..make them feel offended..curse the drivers on the road..back biting.. arrogance will be another enemy for our quest to reach Jannah...

The Week That Was....

Saturday 1/6/2007

• First day of school after a month long leave. Everybody is excited to meet friends and see what is in school. I am glad there's more quite now.
• During the holidays..Hannah was down with fever and cold for almost a week. Luckily this was during the first week of the holiday. We celebrated her recovery by going bowling..!!
• In fact..the week b4 school starts, we were bowling for almost every other day..when we were in Ras Tanura on 1/1/2007..we were bowling also. The madness of trying to get a strike or a spare..Everybody learns how to score the game instead of just playing..so now Hannah&Zayd can do the scoring pretty well..Ayman refuse to leave his bed so..we leave him at home most of the time.
• We got a call from Rosewood saying that the items we ordered has arrived..after nearly a year!! Anyway..I said, it can wait in the shop after I have figured out where to place them.. since we waited a year..a few more months will not be a big deal..
• Ayman went back to Bahrain....

Sunday 1/7/2007.

• Not sure if anything happen today beside the kids off to school...probably we were out to Thai House with Dr. Razali and Abdullah for dinner.

Monday 1/8/2007

• Already the middle of the week..schedules has start to come in informing of tests, quizzes and homework.
• Will work more with Zayd for LA & Social Studies...but I have to do the reading also.

Tuesday 1/9/2007

• Cancel my plans to go to the garden shop...the weather is colder now as compared to last year and the plants are not doing very well...

Wednesday 1/10/2007

• Yildiz @ Kubra's mom..took me to a halakah for ladies..listen to tapes of the Hereafter by Shaikh Anwar Awlaki...discussed some issues..I was mostly listening.
• Plan to go to next one too next Wed but Monday there's a tafsir group at AinDar sister Fawzia house.

Thursday 1/11/2007

• Dentist appt again at Rabwah with Dr. Sandra...
• Tajweed lesson starts again at abt 2:45pm..everyone was there except for the Khaliq's.

Friday 1/12/2007

• Went for a picnic at Al-Khobar Corniche...actually Khaloud's group went and I just tagged along...there's BBQ by zahrah&Gee which was very delicious..may do them again myself but all the lambs...yummy but fattening as it is...
• Hannah's DVD player broke so..the screen has no support although it still runs...it was just about a week old..anyway..no tears for it although SR499 was spend getting it..next time she got to learn how to handle things especially delicate and expensive things around friends.. i was glad that I was pretty cool about it all..although disappointed that something so new and something she has been wanting to get for so long is now partially usable only..

So now it is Saturday again....we had Nasi Lemak for lunch...everything turns out good if I might say so...but I need to remember how to do the liquid measure to cook the rice just right..as for the sambal..it turns out sweet & spicy just the way I like it...Ha..ha..masuk elevator tekan butang sendiri..!!

Welcome 2007 and Marhaba..1428..

It's the first week into 2007...couldn't believe that time has fly by so fast...I guess..this is because there were so many things happening in between the hibernation time..This year I will be celebrating my 45th. birthday but..umphmm..it's still a long way to go...As for birthdays..it's just numbers that indicates you are so far here on this earth..how much more time there is depends on Allah swt.. a blink of an eye or many times longer we wouldn't be able to tell... So..till my time comes I hope I can do as much good for myself as well as to others...

For this year these are my plans...not really a resolution but rather a continuance of the wishes of what I would like to do...that was not done in previous years...

• Learn something new...figuring some folk-art painting in the days coming..
• Be more discipline in my time management for the things I am doing on a daily basis.
• Prepare stuffs for the house in Subang Alam for what I want to do with it..provided we receive the keys this coming July '07.
• Plans for higher education for at least Ayman..courses and location and budget..
• Adzrul insyaállah will be graduating in 2008..so where he'll be stationed and again more stuffs planning here...his graduation ceremony will be done in KL while getting the scroll in Kursk...
• Getting more healthy....more planning here and determination..
• Trying to be more organized with the household..ha...ha..
• Cooked more food variety...trying to get a juicer too sometime in the coming months ..just loved the Berry Banana Smoothies etc...
• Review what I have done for my inner self salvation.
• Getting Zayd to be more involved in reading as I believe this will sprung him into greater heights...
• Go for a trip somewhere..maybe Egypt, Jordan/Lebanon, London&Paris, Spain, Turkey, Switzerland, Netherland or Dubai...maybe after 2008..
• Complete the basics of my tajweed lessons....memorize some surahs and doa's..

Well...above are just some normal things I believe I can do...rather than wishing to jump out of a plane, climb a mountain, go bunjee jumping....got to consider the age& safety factor now... although it can still be done but I know there are more important things out there...One most important thing will be..how to plan get togethers for my immediate family when all of us are all over the place?? Right now..July ~August are when we can be a complete unit..soon this time frame will have to change...I hope to be in their life more..that is more involved..but the facts are..sooner or later..we are all going to be apart..so..thinking about bases and time frame etc..etc... so 2007 will be more of a family consideration...

Day of Arafat...

Today is the 9th of Zulhijjah 1427 where all Hajj pilgrims will stand as one at Arafat..rich poor..powerful&less..strong&weak..young & old..handsome & not so handsome..will all be in Arafat the men wearing just the 2 piece of white cloth..it reflects the day of resurrection when all will rise and face Allah swt on the day of judgement..Today on earth is when Allah swt will come down to the lowest level of heaven to hear us seeking forgiveness from Allah swt..

'Arafat literally means knowledge and science. 'Arafat represents the beginning of man's creation, that of our forefather Adam. It was shaytan who misled our forefather by whispering to him saying: "O Adam! Shall I show you the tree of immortality and power that wastes not away?" (Quran 20:120) He caused the downfall of Adam and Haw'a (Eve). For years, they were separated from each other having descended at different places. It was in 'Arafat that they met again. It was in a small rocky hill of Jabal al-Rahma in the center of 'Arafat that their sins were forgiven by Allah. So, here in 'Arafat, you act like Adam or Haw'a and seek forgiveness for you and your loved ones...islamiCity.com

I remember just 2 Hajj ago in Jan 2005 that I was blessed to have performed Hajj with Azlan.. the emotion was too much to contain. Although I may have make mistakes for the rituals I prayed wholeheartedly that my Hajj will be accepted by Allah swt. as the reward is paradise by Allah swt..nothing less...Year in and year out..this reminded me as to the path that I have chosen...may I be strong and do the best and more of my ability...for now and the hereafter..

Today Adzrul & Azlan do the sunnah fasting..may they get the promised rewards..I couldn't do so because of women issues...but I hope that I will have the blessings of doing more in the time I have left...Ya Allah swt forgive all my sins..reward me with syurga firdausi..accept all my good deeds..May my children and their children so on will be guided in their true faith..keep my faith strong and show me your guidance and patience..amin..laillahaillalah muhammadarasullullah...

Zayd is 13 years old today...23rd. Dec 2006

Hannah Is Now 11 years old....21st. December 2006

Forever Luv Sweetheart....May Allah swt Bless you Always..The time flies by so fast without us realising that 11 years ago you were brought to us.. a joy to everybody..at 8lbs. at about 5:45am Thursday by natural but induced labor. Remembered moment of the time..a Mariah Carey concert was on TV..papa was cornered at the bed-side, Dr. Siti Zaleha was attending with 2~3 nurses at SJMC.

Spicy Sweet Shrimp ~ Sambal Tumis Udang

1/2kg Large shrimp..shelled
1 large Onions..sliced
1tsp shrimp paste
2 tbsp dark brown sugar or gula melaka
2 tbsp tamarind pulp / asam jawa
10~20 pcs dried long chillies
3 pips garlic
5 shallots or 1 med onion
salt, oil

• Blend the dried chillies with garlic and onions.
• Heat up about 2tbsp oil till steamy
• Put in the blended chilli mixture ~about 5~6 tbsp.
• Fried till it is fragrant..you can see the paste separating
• Add in shrimp paste...wait a little while
• Mix the tamarind pulp with some water about 1/2 glass and pour the liquid into the frying mixture
• Let it thickens..
• Add in the brown sugar
• Add the shrimp..let the liquid thickens..
• Add in the sliced onions..
• Add in salt.
• Taste as per your liking..add sugar,salt,tamarind more if desired to taste..
• After the liquid has sufficiently thickens and shrimp has cooked..remove from pan.
• Serve with steam rice or "Nasi Lemak".

**The key to this recipe is getting the balance between sweet, sour, spicy and salty...so taste it and let the liquid thickens to stick to the shrimp..you can also cooked it with the shrimp shells not removed..the taste will be better but eating it will be tougher..

Splenda Splendid Banana Cake

400gm Banana ~ mashed
320gm Self Raising Flour
1 tsp Baking soda
200gm butter
100gm Splenda or 220gm sugar
4 eggs
6 tablespoon milk
2 tsp vanilla

• Cream the butter and sugar
• Add in eggs one at a time
• Add in vanilla and milk
• Put in the mashed ripe banana
• Finally, fold in the flour.
• Put into lined cake tins.
• Bake at 375 F till done ~45mins.

This cake was made for a friend who has diabetic...the butter can be further replaced with oil. Originally..the butter was 250gm +5 eggs..the flour was adjusted with all other ingredients to get same moistness and sweetness as original ingredients.

Cinnamon Florals etc....

I love the smell of spices and varying colors...so I match these combinations for my floral crafts...I used a lot of cinnamon and silk flowers and ribbons..to this day I still have some stocks. Mainly the pieces were made as is basis..depending on what type of flowers and colors I have.. I did not get any formal training or attended any classes as I was working fulltime..but I do browse flower & gift shops a lot and buy books to guide me and the internet... so from these, I managed to come up with what I have...no two pieces are the same...

I guess my training as an engineer helps to trigger the creativity side of making these crafts and understanding the set-up of starting them..but I do had a lot of burns from the hot glue gun and piercing from wires etc...

So..in my bio I can add....engineer..production & engineering manager.. trainer...crafts maker... mom&wife..and the most precious is the last one....

Swags..Topiaries..Wreaths...

I learned to do these florals crafts right at the time when my maid ran away..probably it was a stress buster...sometime in 2000..I love every pieces that sometimes I find it hard to part with it when somebody wants it... it soon became a very productive hobby as I sold them at malls and flea market and by word of mouth...